There’s no better feeling than using up the last tea bag in a box of 100 tea bags. I feel a slight caffeine buzz, but stronger is the feeling of knowing just how right I was to buy so much tea. “They called me crazy”, I think to myself, “for buying a box of 100 tea bags” (note: no one actually said this). Nonetheless, this feeling triggers an elaborate vindication fantasy:
A crowd forms around me as I leave the grocery store carrying my box of 100 tea bags:
“Impossible! Ha! You can’t finish that much tea!” The crowd points and shouts and throws wet garbage at me.
Then, there’s a long montage where I’m just switching between drinking all 100 cups of tea and doing pull ups (the notion that I could do pull ups actually belongs in a separate fantasy).
I proudly return to the store 3 months later. Now an even larger crowd has gathered.
I am handed a microphone. Long story short, I announce that I did in fact finish all of the 100 tea bags, and since the crowd was so wrong in their judgment that I couldn’t finish them all, I’m now establishing a “Hunger Games-esque” punishment for the crowd in order to settle the score. I would go on, but it gets really dark from here.