Answering time traveler mail

Dear Chris

I’m you from the future.  Please heed my warnings:

  1. You need to invest in Quartz! Not gold, silver, etc.  If you invest in Quartz RIGHT now, you will be rich forever.
  2. In the year 2100, the Harry Potter series is re-released, told exclusively from Ron’s 1st person perspective. It’s terrible –  don’t buy it.  Instead, invest your money in Quartz.
  3. The toast that you’re currently writing for an upcoming wedding – the first joke is in poor taste, and doesn’t land well. Everyone hates it and throws wet garbage at you.  Unfortunately, you don’t learn from this event, so you try reusing this joke at a birthday party, and again it doesn’t work.  To avoid both social embarrassments, skip all weddings and birthday parties for the next 50 years and instead use that time to talk about possible Quartz financing options with your local Quartz broker.

Oh no – I’m fading away.  That must mean you will.. take.. my.. advice…. Quaaaaaartz..

-Chris, 228, Fort Pierce, FL, USA

Hi “Chris”, “thanks” for the “warnings”.  FYI this is not a genuine time traveler message.  It is an elaborate Quartz marketing letter.  Please be on the lookout for such ruses.

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