The Rise of the Subway Conductor

NYC subway conductor: Stand clear of the closing doors.  Do not hold the doors open and delay the train.  Thank you.

There’s an man holding a train door open.  An elderly woman is about 10 feet away, and is very slowly moving toward the train car.  The conductor sticks his head out his window and looks at the man.

NYC subway conductor: Please, stand clear of the.. wait, Uncle Gregory?  Is that you?



The subway conductor, age 7, and his uncle are walking out of a candy shop, sweets in hand.  Uncle Gregory holds the door open for him.

Gregory: It’s important to always hold doors open, young man.


The subway conductor, age 9, approaches Uncle Gregory’s house, school bag in hand.

Gregory: Come on in, buddy.  I propped the front door open for you.


The subway conductor, now age 27, sits with his new bride at the head table of a wedding reception.  Gregory stands up to give a toast.

Gregory: May the doors of your love always be wide open to each other..


The subway conductor approaches the man.

NYC Subway conductor: Uncle Gregory, it’s good to see you.

Gregory:  You, too, buddy – sorry, we’re just waiting for Ethel here.

NYC Subway conductor: No, I’m sorry.  I truly am, for having to do this.. I wish there were another way..

The subway conductor firmly karate chops Uncle Gregory’s hand, and the train car door finally closes.  As Uncle Gregory falls to the ground, the two make prolonged eye contact.  A single tear falls from each of their faces.  The subways conductor walks back to his train car. The train leaves the station.

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