A local courtroom

Judge: Artemis Longley and Peter Midfontane – you both are hereby convicted of 3rd degree arson.  You will serve 3 months in a federal correctional facility and may God have mercy on your souls.


The judge smashes the gavel and sits down.  As the bailiff leads the two men away, Artemis looks back at all the local townspeople who have come to see the trial…


In the front row stands Salvador Buzzby, the local barber.

Behind him is Henrietta Demarcaccio, the local pizza parlor owner.

To her right is Reginald Fairweather, the local driving instructor.

Diagonal back to his left stands Gregory Clearwater, Brita filter salesperson.

In front of him stands Eleanor Kerps, local garbage collector.

Sitting on her shoulder is Pimsley Nothingsworth, the local degenerate gambler.

To his left, on one knee, is Thomas “The Promise” Manifred, the local con artist.

Staring at Thomas from across the room is Shanky Prisonmore, the local warden.

Holding his hand is Ari Porter, the local wizard.

Sitting in the window sill above them is Donald Cherrywell, local fruit vendor.

To his right is Gretchen Leachman, the local exterminator.

Looking in through the window while shadow boxing is Oliver Evermore, the local immortal.

To his right, juggling dubloons is Vince Seaworthy, the local sea captain.

To his immediate left are the local carpenters, Carl Sharpouchouch and William Cutzoften

Back inside the courtroom,local tornado expert Orsley Shuttersbridge and Irish Alladin enthusiast Jazmine O’Donnell clap at the outcome.

The local sound effect artist, Holly Flumps, and dairy inspector Gerry Milkguire cry at the verdict.


Suddenly, everyone stops and forms a single file line to exit the courtroom.


All: It’s time for the town to get back to work!


They throw their hats into the air, each catch a different hat as it comes down, and march out of the courtroom.


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