Two energy drink scientists, Daniel Roompaw and Chet Minnows, are working in the lab, mixing chemicals.
Chet: The new elixir is complete. A completely new kind of energy drink.
Daniel: How did you develop it?
Chet: I started by using a special kind of beans…
Daniel: Did you make coffee again?
There’s an awkward silence. Chet thinks to himself.
Chet: ..Yea, I made coffee again.
Daniel: We’re energy drink makers. Not coffee makers.
Daniels eyes wander around the room. He notices they happen to be in the security camera blind spot.
Chet: Arthur said he needs new ideas, right? How about we make coffee in an energy drink size can?
Daniel: No, that’s still coffee.
Daniel starts to sweat.
Chet: What about coffee plus niacin plus taurine?
Daniel: That’s better, but still coffee.
Chet: Ah.. but I like coffee.
Daniel covers Chet’s mouth with his hand. He grabs a pen and paper from his desk and writes “SHUT UP – THEY’RE LISTENING” on the pad. He releases Chet.
Daniel: Good joke, Chet. What a crazy idea? Liking coffee… when everyone knows [ENERGY DRINK] is the best caffeinated drink.
Chet: Oh.. yea.. Ha.. ha
Daniel writes on a new page. “MEET ME AT MULDOON’S BAR AT 8 – I’LL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.”
Daniel: Well, let’s get back to work on these new energy drinks.
Later at Muldoons…
Daniel: So you really like coffee, huh?
Daniel: Well you’re not alone. I am a high ranking member of a secret society within the [ENERGY DRINK] company devoted solely to the rise of coffee and the destruction of energy drinks. Tom in the Brewery, Dave in Accounting, Leslie in Marketing – we’re all members.
Chet: Oh my God..
Daniel: We also run a fight club, but that is totally separate, and we can talk about that later.
TO BE CONTINUED…