Pandemic jokes (first draft)

  1.  2 guys walk into a bar.  They called and ordered 20 minutes ago and now they’re picking it up to go.  The bartender says “you guys come here a lot? Or I should say – did you come here a lot before all of this?”  They say “Yes, we do – I mean, we used to, before all of this, we did.”
  2.  A husband and wife walk into a bar.  It’s the bar in their basement downstairs (quarantined).  Husband says “So, do you come here a lot?” Wife says “I wish I CAME here more!”  and winks. They fight for hours about the future, money, etc.

A: Knock knock.

B: Who’s there?

A: Pandemic

B: Pandemic who?

A: Knock knock.

B: Who’s there?

A: Pandemic

B: Pandemic who?

A: Knock knock.

B:…

A: Knock knock.

A: Knock knock.

A: Knock knock.

A: Knock knock.

B: (whispering) maybe if we’re quiet, it will go away.

A: Knock knock.

B: Who’s there?

A: Orange

B: Orange who?

A: Orange you glad the pandemic is over and we can hug people and go back to work and feel safe!?

B: Yes, I am.  (removes hat, places it over heart, looks into camera) I truly, truly am.