After much soul searching, Lucas decided to turn his weakness into a strength. He stopped bemoaning the fact that he suffered from a rare neurological condition (“compulsively making up silly names and shoehorning them into your blog”). Instead, he became a motivational speaker, specifically helping people who CAN’T come up with silly names for THEIR blogs. His course was very expensive and not at all worth it.
Lucas: It’s all about letting inspiration strike and letting the perfect name hit you.
Bob: But I caaaaaan’t.
Lucas: Bob, say you’re writing a story about a real crazy character, a real oddball, a real wildcard. What’s his name?
Bob: I don’t know.
Lucas: C’mon, Bob.
Bob: Ugh, I don’t know. Mud?
Lucas: Mud? Mud is a boring name, Bob. Try again.
Lucas: Try again.
Lucas: Tom what?
Bob: … Tom Bob.
Lucas: The character’s name..
Lucas pauses dramatically like a psychic.
Lucas: The character’s name.. is Tom “The Moonshine” Clorpus.
The class gives him a standing ovation. Several students are moved to tears. Bob does a find and replace with this name and the placeholder, “X”, in his unfinished 1000 page masterpiece. He sends the manuscript to Harpers and it is immediately accepted.