Lucas and the career change

After much soul searching, Lucas decided to turn his weakness into a strength.  He stopped bemoaning the fact that he suffered from a rare neurological condition (“compulsively making up silly names and shoehorning them into your blog”).  Instead, he became a motivational speaker, specifically helping people who CAN’T come up with silly names for THEIR blogs.  His course was very expensive and not at all worth it.

Lucas: It’s all about letting inspiration strike and letting the perfect name hit you.

Bob:  But I caaaaaan’t.

Lucas:  Bob, say you’re writing a story about a real crazy character, a real oddball, a real wildcard.  What’s his name?

Bob: I don’t know.

Lucas: C’mon, Bob.

Bob: Ugh, I don’t know. Mud?

Lucas: Mud?  Mud is a boring name, Bob.  Try again.

Bob: Bob?

Lucas: Try again.

Bob: Lump?

Lucas: Again.

Bob: Tom?

Lucas: Tom what?

Bob: … Tom Bob.

Lucas:  The character’s name..

Lucas pauses dramatically like a psychic.

Lucas: The character’s name.. is Tom “The Moonshine” Clorpus.

The class gives him a standing ovation.  Several students are moved to tears.  Bob does a find and replace with this name and the placeholder, “X”, in his unfinished 1000 page masterpiece.  He sends the manuscript to Harpers and it is immediately accepted.